When Cock Mom Gave U a Blow Job

The following is a word for word transcription of a text discussion that took place between players during a live game of Left 4 Dead 2 (Versus mode) on a public server recently. Some phrases may be obscure to those not familiar with L4D2.

The transcription begins abruptly because I began recording when the game was already under way, and it ends abruptly because my supper was ready and I quit the game shortly after.

Though there is nothing particularly meritorious about the following conversation, it is somewhat typical of those that take place on public internet servers, and I find such conversations morbidly fascinating.

My cock smells like poo: how does it feel?

My cock smells like poo: blacky

BOOTYMAN: ?

My cock smells like poo: ur a nigger and a loser 😀

My cock smells like poo: ^

BOOTYMAN: racist

My cock smells like poo: white power

BOOTYMAN: can someone on the zombie team votekick him?

Bewbew: ok girls, le’ts jst play

BOOTYMAN: bewbew

Action Bastard: go faggots

BOOTYMAN: u black?

Pink Virus: ignore

BOOTYMAN: hush boy

BOOTYMAN: not talking to u

Action Bastard: why would you hush?

Bewbew: you need to go Booty, you’re too lippy

BOOTYMAN: suck a dick

Action Bastard: no thanks

Bewbew: let’s go

My cock smells like poo: that’s ur job

My cock smells like poo: my dick needs loving 😉

Action Bastard: go so u can get this beating right quick

My cock smells like poo: come get it

BOOTYMAN: u lookin in a mirror

LOUP SOLITAIRE: guys wtf

My cock smells like poo: lol and u are the black man

My cock smells like poo: 😀

BOOTYMAN: im not even black

My cock smells like poo: u sure

BOOTYMAN: im gonna die

BOOTYMAN: knew it

BOOTYMAN: gg

My cock smells like poo: die nigger

bandaNDIT: oh well

My cock smells like poo: owned

BOOTYMAN: I’m not even black kid

Pink Virus: stop it no one likes racist jokes

BOOTYMAN: you don’t even know what that word means

BOOTYMAN: much teams

BOOTYMAN: gg

My cock smells like poo: nigger 😀

BOOTYMAN: you don’t know wut it means kid

My cock smells like poo: talk shit and lose

My cock smells like poo: does not make me a kid

My cock smells like poo: bro

BOOTYMAN: clearly don’t sound like a 27 year old

My cock smells like poo: u just got owned

My cock smells like poo: and still talking shit

Pink Virus: dude u don’t even look white u look like fucking Mexican so why u stop racist joke cause I am out of here

My cock smells like poo: what does that make u

Player Pink Virus left the game

BOOTYMAN: a guy who talks shit to asswipes?

bandaNDIT: you guys need to get out more… other than when you leave for kindergarten

My cock smells like poo: LOL

Bewbew: I agree

BOOTYMAN: I’m 18 and I have a job

My cock smells like poo: 18 u cant even legally drink LOL

BOOTYMAN: I don’t see what’s wrong with that

bandaNDIT: you have no excuse then cock

BOOTYMAN: he doesn’t even have a cock

BOOTYMAN: probably got a rubber dildo eplanted

My cock smells like poo: I own you

My cock smells like poo: 🙂

BOOTYMAN: you don’t own shit

BOOTYMAN: probably a hobo who stole a laptop and it’s accessories from store

bandaNDIT: makes sense

BOOTYMAN: stole a wifi connection too probably

BOOTYMAN: dat down kill doe

BOOTYMAN: gg

Kicking player: Player ZahnDahn

BOOTYMAN: why ya’ll kickin?

BOOTYMAN: new people are still peopl

Bewbew: red rover red rover I call Band on over

bandaNDIT: ok

BOOTYMAN: I call yo mama over

BOOTYMAN: XD

Barry Manilow: nice

BOOTYMAN: dat charge doe

BOOTYMAN: he’s black and white

BOOTYMAN: attack him

BOOTYMAN: 2late

BOOTYMAN: question

BOOTYMAN: could u kick da shit smelling cock on ur team?

BOOTYMAN: I’m gona transfer 5 bucks to the account of the person kicks him

My cock smells like poo: LOL

BOOTYMAN: downed

My cock smells like poo: ur in last place as well

BOOTYMAN: suck ur self kid

BOOTYMAN: learn to read the scoreoard kid

BOOTYMAN: scoreboard*

My cock smells like poo: u can’t spell

My cock smells like poo: LOL

BOOTYMAN: cock is weak

BOOTYMAN: u weak

BOOTYMAN: like a cock

BOOTYMAN: ur cock

BOOTYMAN: oh wait

BOOTYMAN: u don’t have one

My cock smells like poo: LOL look at the score

My cock smells like poo: plus it feels good to be 27 😉

My cock smells like poo: u can’t even go into a bar LOL

My cock smells like poo: 18 means ur just a punk ass kid

BOOTYMAN: I don’t see the pros of drinking

BOOTYMAN: all it brings is intoxication

BOOTYMAN: nothin good about that

My cock smells like poo: bet u cant even handle a beer

My cock smells like poo: ROFL

BOOTYMAN: I don’t even drink

My cock smells like poo: btw kid, 8 core amd, 7970, and 8gb ram

BOOTYMAN: dafaque u high on?

My cock smells like poo: xbox one aswell

My cock smells like poo: what now bitch?

Barry Manilow: lol what

BOOTYMAN: I beleive now u go suck ur mom’s dick

BOOTYMAN: badum chhhhhh

My cock smells like poo: makes no sense?

My cock smells like poo: moms don’t have dicks kid

BOOTYMAN: ur mom does

bandaNDIT: have you checkd?

‘Zilla: SHEMALES

BOOTYMAN: hahaoh

Bewbew: wtf girls

‘Zilla: yeah I yelled it

BOOTYMAN: im vid tapin dis

BOOTYMAN: straight to youtube

‘Zilla: wurd?

bandaNDIT: fun

BOOTYMAN: say hi cockhoe

Action Bastard: hurry up u shits

BOOTYMAN: u mad brah?

Action Bastard: can’t say I am

Barry Manilow: good times

BOOTYMAN: when cock mom gave u a blow job?

Barry Manilow: lol

BOOTYMAN: dat charge

BOOTYMAN: gg

BOOTYMAN: shove it

BOOTYMAN: 27 and ur skills suck donkey balls

My cock smells like poo: lol ur down again

BOOTYMAN: nigga I killed u

BOOTYMAN: u aint 1 to talk

BOOTYMAN: bill take my crowbar

My cock smells like poo: and ur dead

My cock smells like poo: 😀

BOOTYMAN: poo hobo shush

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